Post-Rock Gig Etiquette

On Thursday night Luke, Alex, and myself went to see Explosions In The Sky and Eluvium in Bristol. It was a brilliant gig but I feel that some members of the crowd could have done with knowing a bit of basic post-rock gig etiquette. So below are some dos and do nots for all those considering going to such a gig.

The following is a list of acceptable behaviour

• While queing to enter the gig keep still, don’t make eye contact and talk as quietly as possible
• Once inside the venue quietly make your way to the live area avoiding the merchandise stall
• When the bands are playing stand still and enjoy the music, small amounts of head movement are allowed
• If you are particularly enjoying a section of music, close your eyes and bow your head.  It’s a sign of respect, the band will know they are doing well
• At the end of a song a small peel of applause is acceptable
• When the band has finished a larger clap may be required
• At the end of the night call in on the merchandise stall to confirm that you own all of said band’s releases

The following is under no circuimstances allowed:

• While queing talk loudly about the bands you are about to see and other gigs that you have been to in the past. Mentioning the fact that you went to see Tenacious-D is probably not a good idea
• When inside go straight to the merchandise stall, buy a t-shirt and put it on over your existing clothing
• While the support acts are playing talk loudly because you don’t understand what it is that they’re trying to do
• Cheering is a no-no
• Wooping is a sin
• Clapping along to the music.  It’s not clever and it’s not cool.  It may have been acceptable at that Tenacious-D concert you went to, but it’s not wanted here
• Saying phrases like “You rock” and “F**k yeah” at the end of, or during, the songs
• Devil horns, keep it for your Tenacious-D gigs
• Headbanging, moshing, skitting, whatever you want to call it, there’s no place for it here
• Wearing sunglasses inside the venue, either you’re blind or you don’t want to see that band, which one is it?
• Clapping during the quiet bits because you think the songs over.  Massive error, minus 10 points

And the golden rule?  Never, ever, ever smoke weed before going along.  You may think that it makes you “connect” with the music, but it doesn’t.  You just end up looking like a tool.  Crack, now that’s allowed.  Everyone knows that crack turns you into a hero.